Guilty!

It’s 5:30 am and I just listened to the radio announcement. At times like this, I always find myself reflecting on the same thoughts over and over again. I feel really guilty at times as I wait for the declaration: “Signal no. 2, no classes for all levels in Metro Manila”. Finally, the radio host announced it. Woohoo! Jump for joy! But, like a child who suddenly had his lollipop taken by his mom because "candy's bad for his teeth,” I quickly recoiled to my seat. How selfish can I get? I think it was over three years ago, when a big storm hit Metro Manila, that I particularly felt guilty for wishing that classes would be suspended. Classes did get suspended and as I hurried back to my waiting car, the only problem that I had was how to get to it without getting my slippers wet. I stared at the big drops on my car’s window. But the drops weren’t only what I saw. I pitied the peanuts vendor who was covered in plastic to shield himself from the raging rain. Gosh! He would still sell peanuts even with the strong wind! Of course, I thought, or he would have nothing to bring home to his family that night. That day, I knew, was going to be hard for him. I don’t think people would stop to buy some of his peanuts because everyone’s too busy to hurry back home. I also saw ordinary people who had to hurry to get to their jeepneys so they could get to work on time. I imagined myself running in the rain with others and competing for jeepney seats. That would have been hard. I thought to myself, “Can I wish to take back my wish?”

This growing realization definitely had me thanking God for everything I have. I kept whining to my mom that she should get me a laptop, or a new mobile phone, while others barely eat three times a day. Well, I could say, “I can’t do anything. I can’t will the rain to stop.” Right? Wrong! We can all help in our own little ways. For starters, I’d stop complaining about getting a new computer. I guess I’d be a lot, um, for the lack of a better term, happier and contented.

Later, when Yoyong, the super typhoon strikes his massive blows, I’ll tell you where you could find me: behind my room’s window starting at the big drops of water, thinking of the same thoughts over and over again (that this Christmas, there'll probably be a lot of empty tables)...

…while doing a paper in ITM. Nyahaha! :)