Sigh of Relief

Finally, I can breathe! I got my grades and they wer pretty fine.. it turns out that Dr. Lee has a kind heart after all.. hehe.. and Parco! Gosh! She gave me a B.. hehe.. I was quite disappointed with my Pol Sci (a C+) and .NET (a B+). Anyway, my CS 199 and MIS pulled my grades up... to a QPI of 3.21 for the very first time.. hehe.. Happy! Shalalala... it's so nice to be happy! :) Cebu, here I come! :)

Anxiety

I can't sleep.. grades distribution tomorrow! So many things to do.. I'll be leaving for Cebu the following day. I'll feel really guilty if I go to Cebu, and get really lousy grades.. Will I be able to enjoy my "vacation"?

Friends from Church

Can I Resist It?

This was a very hectic day. I did some video editing last night and went to sleep at about 2 am. I then started working on it this morning and finished it in time for the Centerville presentation. They loved it, especially the part where Irene was "reminiscing".. hehe.. I also had to do some preparations for the National Training Seminar next week.. I'm off to Cebu! I am so excited! Haha.. so I don't think I could update next week.. but if I could find a way.. hehe.. let's see if I can resist the temptation that blogging brings.. :)

What Break?

Semestral "Break" Schedule

• Yesterday, Monday: ITM Defense
• Today, Tuesday: Make a movie due tomorrow for a presentation in Church, fix National Training Seminar details, call PLDT, do write-up for Relief Society Medical Mission
• Tomorrow, Wednesday: meeting with AIESEC MC, movie presentation for Church
• Thursday: Go to Department of Tourism for ITM
• Friday: same thing
• Saturday: Practice with Primary at 4 pm, Institute at 6 pm, Kuya Mike's wedding at 530.. haha.. pano yun?
• Sunday: The Lord's Day
• Monday: Grades Distribution, yikes!
• Tuesday: Go to Department of Tourism or off to Cebu
• Wednesday-Sunday: AIESEC National Training Seminar in Cebu!
• Monday: arrival from Cebu
  
• Tuesday: visit relatives or stay at home (the latter's tempting)
• Wednesday: Classes Start!
  

Getting Over It

Today's the first Sunday we went to Church without my Kuya. As Bro. Allan read the sacrament prayer, I closed my eyes and bowed my head. It was usually my brother who reads it. Now, it's someone else. I still cry when I'm alone. It's a good thing I have a lot of things to do, like prepare for our defense in PM tomorrow! Almost everyone's on vacation mode already (like Joy, hehe)! Habang ako.. nagpipiga pa rin ng utak... hay!

I went to school today after Church service. I had to meet up with my PM groupmates again to finalize our presentation tomorrow. As I went home, instead of passing by Libis, I drove over White Plains to see where I last saw my Kuya. I know what you're thinking, and you're right: umiyak n naman ako! Hehe.. ewan ko ba, ang hirap talaga pigilin.. Even last night, when I was on the phone with a friend, I couldn't help but cry. I couldn't say anything, and so I put down the phone and told him that I was really tired and ready to get some sleep. But the truth is, gusto ko lang talaga umiyak! So the next morning, sobrang maga ng mata ko! Pam noticed it, but she didn't ask. She knew why. Anyway, the place (Missionary Training Center) was very quiet. I wondered what he was doing at that moment. He was probably sleeping.

Anyway, I'll have to get over him, soon! I don't want to be like this for long. Knowing that my brother would always be safe because he is doing the Lord's work helps me find peace of mind. It's also a good thing that I have friends who convince me that 2 years isn't really a long time (Cel, Joy and Vida). In a few more days, I think I'll probably get the hang of things without him, probably enjoy pa nga. Hehe.. he left me his Compaq palm, and his big room! :)

Return Home with Honor

I am really tired. I had a long day. But even if I am a little misty-eyed right now, I decided not to let this day pass without posting this in my blog. This day's worth remembering.

He left already.

My brother went in the Missionary Training Center (MTC) this morning. And yup, you guessed it right: I cried. Before we left the house, my father gave him a special blessing. That's when I started crying. I realized that tonight, and the next 730 nights (more or less), he won't be returning to our home.

I drove my car with my uncle and he rode with my dad, mom and sister. I was quiet the whole time, scared that if I say something, I'd burst into tears. When we arrived at the area, he got his maleta down from the pick-up. I dared to take a picture as he embraced our mom. Then I couldn't anymore. That's why I just got one picture of him. I hugged him tight and broke down into tears. He didn't. That's just like my brother. I guess he didn't want to enter the MTC with red, swollen eyes. Then he went inside. It's a good thing that Pam was there. My parents left and I cried hard as I walked to my car with Pam. We went to the temple just across the street, and I just couldn't fight back the tears streaming down my face.

Afterwards, I went to school to meet up with my Project Management groupmates. Everytime I found myself alone, I couldn't help but cry - as I drove, as I walked to the parking lot, as I was waiting for my groupmates, as I was alone in the washroom.

Everytime I hear a door close in our house, I sometimes forget that he's gone already. A lot of times, I still expect him to show up in the door of my room, as he always does, especially at this time of the day - to watch TV or use my computer. Tomorrow will be the first Sunday that we would go to Church without him.

I am happy. I know that my brother won't be home for tonight, but when he does, I know he'd return home with honor.

I am sleepy now. My eyes are bloodshot from crying. But on the brighter side, it feels good to sleep while your eyes are still hot. Hehe.. :)

Tears for Tomorrow

Hay! I can't sleep.. my brother's leaving tomorrow. Anyway, our friends just left after the last farewell pary for my kuya. Haha.. we joked around and posed for another teleserye opening billboard. We all laughed at this one. Tomorrow, there'll be no more laughs for me. I know I'll be crying a river! I'm proud of you, Bey! :)

The Much Needed Break

Yeah! I pulled it off.. Theo orals with Parco wasn't so bad.. Gosh, I reviewed from 7 pm to 430 in the morning and went to school with dark rings under my eyes. Parco wasn't so intimidating when my groupmates and I entered the lounge. I guess I was just lucky since we got the thesis statement which I really studied for... There were 13 thesis statements, and I got that! Haha.. wasn't so lucky with Philo, though...

Anyway, I went to Des' house after my orals. It was about 10 am already and we had a programming project and defense due that day. I felt really tired... and sleepy. Afterwards, we went back to school and got the defense over with. We went to our house so I can change from my smart casual attire which has been on since my Theo orals. Then we watched Kris Aquino's movie Feng Shui at Megamall. It was nice, better than most Filipino suspense movies.. the effects were really scary. The part where Lot-Lot de Leon held the kids' hands scared me the most.. but there were some funny scenes as well, like when she died because of "Red Horse Beer". Hehe... I'm glad I watched it.. I really needed that break..

On the Seventh Day, God rested... I Didn't!

I had a really, really long day. It was Sunday yesterday, and it was supposed to be the Lord's day. During our sacrament meeting, the speakers discussed the importance of keeping the Sabbath Day holy. I have heard these things since I was a child. But yesterday, I just had to work. We had a deliverable due the following day. Jake, my PM groupmate, and I stayed up all night to finish it. I finally gave up at about 6:30 am, with the work still not finished. I really feel guilty but the thing is, my groupmates depended on me and Jake since we didn't have an exam the following day. I know, don't justify. Yes, it was wrong.

Tomorrow, I'll be taking a 3-hour long test from 6-9 in the evening and another exam at 1:30 the following day for my Pol Sci class and I haven't even started reading!

Anyway, my brother seems to be really quiet lately. Gosh, he'll be leaving on Saturday already! And he'll be gone for 2 years.. hay! 2 years? Tagal nun! :)

Lucky?

Guess what my random number for registration is? 24!!! Haha.. why now? I'll be off to Cebu on registration day.. so I'll have to ask Gianne to register for me. Luckily, she's just number 27. Hehe.. I hope I get good sked and good teachers, especially philo and theo..

Sa telenovela opening billboard na ito, sino ang naapi at sino ang mga kontrabida?

I Felt the Earth Move Under My Feet

Did you feel the earthquake kanina? Grabe, my friends and I were up in the 3rd floor of our house, and we felt our house REALLY move.. sobrang lakas! We were all praying.. somehow, I felt peace within me telling us that we wouldn't be harmed.

Despite the worst Philo orals I have ever had.. I enjoyed the farewell party for my kuya.. I was surprised when the emcee called me to give a short message for my kuya.. The only words that I said for my kuya was, "Don't come home early". Hehe.. to those LDS who would be reading this, you know what I mean. Anyway, the best part of the party was during the picture taking part.. haha.. we did teleserye poses even if some could not help but laugh.. It's a good thing that once in a while I get to take some time off the stressing world of ITM... back to work.. :)

Why Kant and his Categorical Imperative?

Why does the universe seem to conspire against me during Philo orals? I studied Aristotle and Hume all night and slept thru Kant. I didn't even read his text. And guess what? I got Kant for my oral exams: Explain the categorical imperative. My palms were really cold and clammy when I went inside the room. I don't know exactly how I did in my orals, but I'm starting to be really pessimstic about it. Darn, I'm sure Dr. Lee thinks I'm an idiot.. I know I could answer that if only read through it. I find Kant really hard to understand and I even asked Marvin, my PM groupmate about that categorical imperative. I merely repeated words from the philosophers, and didn't even try to reflect... and to think that I even said that Kant emphasized thinking for one's own self. But the worst part of it was when Dr. Lee asked me, why do you want to have your own choices? And I told him that 'only voluntary actions are praiseworthy or blameworthy'. And then he said, 'That's what Aristotle said'. Buko! Haha.. Anyway, there were three highlights of my day today.. first, I got a +2 in my ITM exam, a sure A in MIS131 and lastly, an 80 in my Philo exam (that's pretty decent, at least for my standards). I guess grades distribution day would be very exciting for me this semester, especially with Philo. If Dr. Lee thinks that it is just right for him to give me an F in the oral exams, I hope he experiences akrasia (a Philo term meaning weakness of will). Nyahaha! :)

Tonight, my brother will be having a big farewell party, and all our friends and relatives would come.. and guess where am I and what am I doing? Locked up in my room and finishing an ITM deliverable.. hay!

Yeah!

I love my groupmates! Joy, Kelay, Ris and Joy-anne.. galing natin! Haha.. a 95 in the defense and paper? This one's a first for me.. hehe.. Ris, our efforts were rewarded! 'Di nasayang yung pagtakbo natin (technically, tumakbo naman tlga tayo di ba? even if we used my car) from National to your condo and back to school. But the best thing about this is we won't have to take that dreaded Maguyon final exam. Anyway, I passed the ITM test by 5.5 points! Wohoo! Still hanging on.. :)

Random Question

Just wanna share...

Here's the random question that I got for my blog profile:

In the dream where you
show up to school naked, why do you
never go swimming?

And here's what I answered:

There's no swimming pool.

My New Motto

I wish I hadn't gone to school today. I slept late and I had to wake up early for my first class. It was so frustrating.. we didn't do anything in that class, our teacher even dismissed us 1 hour earlier! Argh! Anyway, Ms. Parco (my theo teacher) returned our 2nd long exam and I am happy that I got a fairly good score... I guess it was just "tsamba". I thought I was going down the drains when I took that one, but it turned out otherwise. This week's turning out good so far. Yesterday, I found out that I was on the exemption list in one of our major subjects, but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed on that one. Exemption requires a minimum of 90 as the pre-final grade, and I'm 91! Buti sumabit pa. Gosh, I hope we get a good grade on our final paper and defense so I wouldn't have to take that dreaded final exam, especially if it's done by Sir Mags.

By the way, our Theo teacher advised us to "hang on" for the last two weeks of the semester. Haha.. why do I get the feeling that it's going to be my motto for the next two weeks? :)

That Thin Thread

During our PM (Project Management) class this morning, our professor told us that as of this point in time, we are all holding on to a very thin thread. He said, "Just hang on!" Well, after our defense in MIS131 this afternoon, I breathed a sigh of relief. One down. I got a better grip of that thin thread my professor was talking about.. let's see about that on Friday... one quiz and a Philo oral exam. Good luck! :)

The Testimony

Today was one of the most wonderful testimony meetings I have attended. I was writing something on a post-it when I heard a familiar voice speak through the microphone. I looked up, and saw my brother up in the pulpit. It was his first time to bear his testimony in our ward. There were about 60 people seated in the audience. My mom, sister, and I all cried as he said how thankful he is that he had a family like ours. He thanked our mom and dad for all their hard work and for everything they had taught him. He says he was blessed because of them. My father, the bishop, looked afar as he tried hard not to cry. I could see that my brother was really happy, even with the tears. He knew he was making the right decision. I rememberd one instance when he said that he was a bit scared to go... because of the big possiblity of rejections. But even with that, he was still determined to go.. he knew it was his calling. I thank God for giving me a brother who serves a good example to me and to everyone else. He chose to leave all his luxuries in life in order to serve the Lord.

At the rate of how things are going with me, I wonder how I can still spend some quality time with him? He'll be leaving on the 16th (7 am), and my last day at school is on the 15th! Whew! I hope I could still have some time for updating my blog..

Help!

I don't know what happened. Nagulo yng sidebar ko.. instead na nasa taas yng elements, it went down.. labo! Any kind soul who'd help? :)

Brain Cells Melting...

Addicted na ko sa blogging. Well, besides Kelay and Joy (haha.. :D), it's also MIS131's fault. I've been doing research and analyzing a company's network for almost the whole day na. Everytime I can't think straight anymore, I'd login to Blogger and publish a post, kahit picture lang. Sorry Joy, we're way past the deadline. Partner Kelay and I are quite tired na. Hay! My brain cells melted as I stare too long at my screen saver. Is there such a thing as melting brain cells? Hehe.. there goes my question. Anyway, finals week na.. 2 major deliverables, 2 oral exams, 2 defenses and 3 long exams to go.. then it's a whole new semester once again.. papansin! aarggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Leaving for a Cause

My Brother - the Missionary

I don't really know how I felt the day my brother got his call to serve a mission in Davao, a place unknown to him. I wanted to cry but of course, not in front of the whole family. We gathered together as he read his letter from his Mission President. He is to leave on Oct. 16 (that's two weeks from now) and won't be back until after two years. He is leaving us, his air-conditioned room, his car, his compaq palm, his cellphone, his electric guitar, his girlfriend, his career, his dream of being a lawyer, all his luxuries and a lot more. He is to go with a limited budget, to learn the value of sacrifice. We can't reach him in any other way except through letters or e-mail (if he would be allowed to check, but I'm sure it's on a very limited basis). The only days we could talk to him on the phone are during Mother's Day and Christmas. My brother and I has always been close. 11 months lang ang pagitan namin! I view him as someone innocent and kind. He was always so kind to me and my sister. He knows all my secrets. I will definitely miss him. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that he's going away to serve the Lord, and I am proud of him. His going there has a purpose, I know. But a part of me says that I need him here - to listen to my whines and "love stories", to do favors for me, to fix my computer, to drive me to the mall, to close our gates at night, to watch movies together, to sing with while I play the piano, my sister the drums and him the guitar. All of this would be gone in a few more weeks and it would probably never be the same again when he comes back. He will be a changed man when he comes back. Yes, I need him here... but I guess he is much needed someplace else, as I tell all my missionary friends when I write to them. I guess I feel the same way as Kolipoki's father did in "The Other Side of Heaven" the day he was to leave for a mission in Tonga. He said that he doesn't love the people in Tonga enough to send them his son, but somehow he knew Heavenly Father does. Our whole family and a lot of his friends would bring him to the Missionary Training Center on the 16th. I won't cry, I told myself. But my Kuya knows how 'crybaby' I can get. Whenever someone asks how I feel, knowing that my brother would be leaving in a few weeks, I would tell them, "Ok lng, gusto ko na nga siya paalisin e." Then I would laugh. But everytime I hear myself say those words, the growing realization that his day of departure is getting nearer becomes more significant, and emotions seem to fight a fiercer battle inside me. I hope he doesn't come across this page, but if he does, I would like him to know how grateful I am to have a brother like him and that, if I were given the chance to choose another brother, I wouldn't have any other.

The Day He Got "The Call"

In a few months, it will be a year since Brent passed away. Gosh, how I miss him! He was ravaged by 2 big Rottweilers and a German Shepherd. Even if our family has 12 other dogs, Brent will always be "my dog". His value is priceless, his memories are precious. Rest in peace.

In this picture, there are 3 sets of siblings... hulaan niyo kung sino-sino ang magkkpatid! Hehe... di kasali yng dog.. :)

Anong teleserye 'to?

Stolen Kuno

Funny faces

Mirror, mirror.. who's the fairest of them all? Blog ko 'to!

My Hero

Pam and Pam

I never knew I would have a best friend with the same name.

The "Peace" Dance

Singer?

Embarassing talaga. Haha.. last night, at Joy-anne's house, Aliya Parcs' "Stop Think" was playing at Joy's laptop. Prior to that, we watched a music video of My Sassy Girl's "I Believe". So when the song played, I wanted to ask Joy whether it was an mp3 or a music video. Intead of saying "mp3?", I blurted out, "Singer?". We all had a good laugh. I didn't know where that came from, but I was really embarassed. Kelay's right: "Yan ang stressed". :D

Blunder

"hell week" is the term. Yeah, right. As if. I guess there are just too many blunders that's hard to correct. I just don't know why people in Ateneo keep on saying it when it's really "hell month" or "hell sem". The seniors should know better. But I won't go as far as "hell year". I wouldn't know. The school year's not yet over. Can I still hang on until the "march" on March? (Nice rhyme, eh?) With a few more sleepless nights, I hope I will.

WALA

Wala akong maisip... bwahaha! Tulog na 'to! Pero bago matapos ang gabing ito, nais kong pasalamatan ang mga mabuti kong kaibigan na nagmulat sa akin sa pag-bblog. Kelay at Joy, wala kayong katulad. Salamat sa magandang title. "Till There Was Me", original talaga, walang katulad! Nais ko ring pasalamatan si super Ris, na nag-kumbinsi sa akin na maki-uso. Ris, salamat at sinabayan mo ako. Akala ko, ako na lang ang nahuhuli sa uso. 'Kaw din pala, nyahaha! At sa maganda kong blockmate na si Joy-anne, salamat at pinagamit mo sakin ang computer mo, habang ginagawa mo ang ating proyekto. Cge, mag-concentrate ka lang diyan, susuportahan kita. Kung wala kayong lahat, wala ako dito.

Wala na talaga akong maisip.

Titig. Pikit. Tulog.

Insomia ang uso sa Ateneo... till there was me... bwahaha!